i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i believe in u and ur pee
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
