OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
