That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
