I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
