I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
