Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
