Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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