You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
