Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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