How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
bring money and cleavage
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
