you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
