Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
