I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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