Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
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