Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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