God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
