Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
