remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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