i don't like sucking hair
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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