one might say we're banned from that church
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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