Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
