I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
