we have pet lesbian snakes
She's JV to your varsity
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
