everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
