You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize