let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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