I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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