Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
