Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
