I don't think brook has ever known best
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
