she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
