this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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