I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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