have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
