this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
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I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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