You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize