I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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