I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
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btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
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He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize