You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
