Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
should my penis look like a turkey
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
