margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
