I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
