i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
