I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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