in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
