the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
