So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize