I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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