How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
