I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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