How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
