I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I FOUND THE LEGS
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
