they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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