I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I will die if light touches me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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