she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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