I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
