I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
