dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
