dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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