as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
